The darkness and the light ::
by atashi-wa-Yume
Summary: My story of how Saito and Tokio manage their life after they were married, Dark and light are opposite, but dark can’t exist without the light, right? Please Read and Review!!! It’s my 1st story!!! ^_^
1. Chapter 01

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. 

AN: This story takes place before the kenshingumi. And please excuse my grammar error, cause it want my language and I'm not very good at it. If you want to help checking my errors please tell me. 

Now into the story: 

**:: The darkness and the light :: **

**Chapter 1 **

**_BOOOM!!!! _**

A loud explosion heard on the silent night, the dark night colored with red fiery light. Everything was destroyed. 

Everything… 

Accept one man… 

"Damn!" He murmured trying to ease the pain that seems killing him. He then trying to stand up, but the pain in his leg and his stomach make him unable to stand. It seems his leg was broken or something, he could feel the smell of blood on the air. 

He never thought this mission could turn out to be like this, the enemies clan seems more clever and sly than he thought, his squad were all gone, died. He never thought the enemy would sacrifice themselves with that explosion. 

He let the pain take his body's control and with a loud 'thump' he was lying on the ground again, his left hand was unable to move, so did most of his body. He takes a glace over the explosion to found some dead body lying on the ground. 

It brings back his memory… 

_"Why I choose you to take this mission you asked?" _

_"Because, you were lucky, whatever happen, you always the one who will standing and take the victory flag." _

'Lucky, heh?' He thought sarcastically. Then close his eyes. 

'So I'm lucky after all…' And the darkness drifted him… 

She hates her family 

She hates him 

But most of all 

She hates herself for agreeing to married this man. 

'Sacrifice.' She thought. She has to sacrifice herself for her family. It's been 1 year since she married that man, Saitou Hajime the ex Shinshengumi, but she never tastes love between them. He was too cold, and she was too scared. 

'A perfect match for a marriage, right?' She rolled her eyes then looked outside the window. And she closed her eyes as a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

"Yeah, perfect…" She whispered bitterly. 

+++++++++++++ 

**_I know what is the meaning of darkness, I used to be the darkness _**

"Do you found someone?" A man with police uniform yelled. 

"No! But I will try to search other area!" Someone answered. 

****

**_I never found a brave light across my path _**__

"DAMN! Only a dead man, dead man, and dead man!!!" Another police cursed, then he saw him. And hurriedly checked his pulse. 

"I… I found someone alive!!!!!!!!" He yelled, the other following the voice. 

**_And I never bother to find one _**

****

**_Because I never need it anyway… _**

+++++++ 

"This way." A police officer showed her a way to his room. She was in a small clinic/ hospital, since it was the best medical service at there. Her hands were sweating, she was nervous to see him. It's been 3 month since he left their house. The office leave as Tokio walked into the room and found her husband, lying weakly in a bed, the bandages covered most of his body. 

She takes a seat in front of the bed and looked at Saito sadly. 

She doesn't know what she feels right now, her feeling were mixed. She was worried, sad, angry, and feel relieve in same time. Then she realized that she was care of him. She was care at someone she hates since the first time she moved with him. And it makes her confused and scared. She doesn't need that feeling, because she knows he will never give it back to her. He never give her the same feeling she want. 

And she doesn't want to be alone. 

She fear loneliness 

And he was loneliness. 

How come she could loved him? 

'Maybe it's a pity.' She thought, trying to erase her earlier thought. 'I do pity him.' She continues, 'And it will always be like that.' 

Then she feels someone looked at her. And she found his gold shaped eyes staring at her. She opened her eyes, but nothing comes, her voice gone, so she faked a smile. 

"…Why are you here?" His voices were barely a whisper. She felt something crushed her body as she heard his voice. 

"Anou… There… there was an officer asked me to… to come here, so… so… I…" She was speechless, she always like that around him, her eyes were staring at her hands. 

"Oh." He said, then he closed his eyes. Tokio watched him, then his wounds, she feels an urge to touch him, to hold him, to kissed him. But she knows it could only make everything worse than before. 

**_I used to be a light_ **

After she makes sure that he was sleeping. Then she takes a breath before she opened her mouth. 

_**But I was too afraid to walked into the night** _

"Can… can I touch you?" And she didn't need answer, cause she know he was sleeping. 

_**I'm too afraid to shining ** _

She stands up and keeps close to him. 

**_Cause I'm small, too small to embrace the darkness _**

She touches his cheek lovingly, and she feels a warm feeling through small her body. 

**_I am a failed light that falling into the darkness _**

She lowered her face slowly trying not to wake him. And brush his lips gently with hers as a tear escape from her eyes and falling to meet his closed eyes. 

**_And I can't shining anymore… _**

And she know even she try lying to herself, but she couldn't stop the fact, that she loved him… 

And it scared her… 

+++++++ 

AN: I know Tokio looked like a crybaby in this story, but she'll grow stronger and stronger in next chapter (I hope) and you will see the change of Saito cold heart. So What d'ya think so far? should I continue or not? Please review! JA!


	2. Chapter 02

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. 

AN: This story takes place before the kenshingumi. And please excuse my grammar error, cause it wasn't my language and I'm not good at it. If you want to help checking my errors please tell me. 

Now into the story: 

**:: The darkness and the light :: **

** Chapter 2**

Sometimes it's just hard to say I love you

In other time it's hard to say good bye

1 month later...

'Why ?' 

That question always hanging in his head lately, it's like an untold question since Tokio act strangely that day, when she... when she kissed him. He don't know why he didn't asked her, he don't know why he feel uneasy around her, He don't know why... 

He don't know why he feel attracted toward her.

'Attracted?' 

he must be crazy. Yes, she really drive him crazy.

And it scared him...

Isn't it funny? he, Saito Hajime, the leader of Shinshengumi's third squad scared of a woman? A woman who used to be his wife, a woman who is nothing to him, actually being something to him. 

It's the craziest joke he ever heard.

+++

She sigh deeply as she finished cleaning the backyard, the sky was so clear and it makes her feel so sentimental. It's been a month since that day, since she totally lost her mind, since she feel she was insane. And since that day, she start to avoiding Saito, she always force her smiling face around him, even she feel an untold feeling. And it stab her like a sharp blade.

But she couldn't do anything about it...

She was... she was too scared to be hurting by anyone, especially by Saito.

Then she closed her eyes as she feel tears trying to escape from the corner of her eyes. 

'Am I this weak? Am I too weak to reach you?... Am I nothing to you?'

+++

The next day...

Tokio was serving the breakfast as she heard the bedroom was opened. 'Weird, he shouldn't wake this early.' Tokio thought then walking toward the bedroom and found Saito, with his cop uniform and his usual katana.

"A... anou... Saito san, isn't you supposed to take a break for another 1 week?" Tokio asked, for her surprise Saito just looked at her, like he was looking at her soul, her now tortured soul.

"Anou... Saito san?" She start to feeling this unwanted feeling again, and she didn't want Saito to know about it.

"I think it's better for me to go to Osaka as soon as possible, I have nothing to do if I remain here anyway." He said coolly, but the truth he is scared, he scared if she could influence him more than now, he scared if she could melt his heart and make him awake and see the reality.

He also scared he can't giving her the feeling she want.

He scared... to be with her.

He scared... to hurt her.

And that means he have to fly away from her again...

"A... I see. I know the aura in this house isn't suit you." She force a smile, even her heart was broken. His sentences were true, even they were a husband and a wife, but they never acted like a couple, the were like a stranger to each other. And at least she know Saito didn't like being with her. 

Its only a political marriage anyway...

No love, no warmth, nothing...

She hate him for the first, but suddenly she found something about him was make her feel something, something that changes her into the real woman, into someone, but something about him also make her feel she was no one... she was nothing...

"But... but at least you could eat breakfast before you go right?" Tokio pleaded, at least for the last time she want to make him taste her cooking.

Because she never know...

She never know when he will die, his job always giving him a dangerous situation, he could die anytime, anywhere...

And she could only pray for his safety, **_is that what she wanted?_**

She know she was not a samurai, she couldn't use sword or other equipment, she can't stand blood, so how could she do beside pray? and waiting until he come home and acted like nothing happen, or another policeman told her something horrible happen to him, like before?

And she can only wait, and wait...

"No, I really have to go right now." With that he walked into the front door. While Tokio looking at the floor, and she opened her mouth.

"Do you... what do you feel about me?" She whispered then Saito stopped his move.

"What do you mean?" Saito asked, his voice was sounded dry and cold, like he was hearing an unfunny joke.

"Do you ever think about me? Do you ever had that feeling?"

"..."

"Do you ever loved me?"

He didn't dare to answer the question, why? Because he was too scared? Because he was to stupid? or because he was scared of the answer he could give?

But... his mouth was moved uncontrollable.

"No." He whispered softly.

**But sometimes**

**It's easier to say I hate you**

AN: Hi minnasan! It's me again, I just want to say thank you for all the reviews I get. I love you guys! And it really motivate me for writing. So what do you think about this chapter? Please tell me what u think! Ja ne!


	3. Chapter 03

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. 

AN: This story takes place before the kenshingumi. And please excuse my grammar error, cause it wasn't my language and I'm not good at it. 

**:: The Darkness and The Light ::**

Chapter 03

He never love me.

Never.

Love. 

Me.

+++

Tokio wake up in a sweat, her heart beat faster and faster. Tonight she dream about that nightmare again, she dreamed about that day, the day Saitou leave her in emptiness, the day she feel she's unloved.

The day he said he never loved her.

She sigh sadly and closed her eyes, 2 month has passed, but still she couldn't leave, she could just leave this house, leave him, but every time she try to do that... she end up staring at into the space, thinking about him, over and over.

Trying to hate him, but the darkness has consumed her mind.

Leaving her only with a small light, her love to him.

She realize she was hungry and thirsty, she need love to satisfy her, to fulfill her needs.

But, no one dare to give her love.

No one, until she meet that man.

The man that can give her love, the man that can accept her, care for her.

But...

He's not Saitou...

Her mind screaming, torn between her passion and desire to loved by someone... 

She wouldn't dare waiting for him anymore, she need someone to takes her away from the darkness, anyone, she don't care who is he, she don't care is she love him or not, as long as he love her, care for her... she will try to love him back...

Ah... what a shameless woman she is, she even thinking of leaving Saitou, her husband.

But... HE leave her... alone... on the darkness, while she wanted to see the light...

He is the darkness... there's no way he could change into the light, take her into the light.

But the other man is the light... he could take her away... away from this darkness...

She open her eyes in the darkness, unable to see, but she smile.

'As long as he love me... it doesn't matter... isn't it?'

+++

The night was cold and dark, a tall figure walking in silently, not making any sound, while another man running into him from behind.

"Fujita san!" The man with police officer outfit called him, he stopped and looked at his partner.

"Hideki san. What do you want?" He asked coldly. Hideki smile at his partner and patted his shoulder.

"What's wrong with you? I mean... you are a loner, I know, but I never saw you this cold before. What's wrong?" Hideki asked. Saitou release Hideki's hand from his shoulder roughly and started to walked again. Hideki shrugged and followed Saitou.

"Oi Fujita san! Don't you dare leave me!" Hideki called as Saitou walked faster.

"Who do you think you are? A little girl?" Saitou sad coolly, not even turn his head.

"Aw... come on! My wife will not agree marry me if I'm a little girl!" He grinned, Saitou looked at the young man.

"You had already married?" Saitou asked. Hideki nodded proudly, and he started to telling Saitou about how he meet his wife and so on.

"But, your wife is more beautiful than mine. You are so lucky Fujita san!" He laugh and patted Saitou on the shoulder again. Saitou then remember about Tokio, how he had throw her like that, she probably already leave the house.

But it doesn't mean he want her to leave.

Wait! HE is the one who want Tokio to leave, didn't he? He said he never love her didn't he?

She give him love, but he throw it away. 

But why now... he regretted it? Why he regretted all he had say? sometimes he hope he never agreeing the marriage, sometimes he hope he was rotted on the street, not surviving the last war with the other Shinshengumi. So he isn't able to meet her.

But he didn't regret meeting her. 

And now he was stuck between his mind and heart, and it's all because of Tokio.

"Fujita san? Are you ok? You seems spacing out." Hideki asked, Saitou ignoring his words and walked again.

His mind was full of unanswered questions, other confused words or even... a surprising fact. He want to ignore all of it, but he found he was unable to.

But his stubborn mind win. He ignore it.

'But... since I'm too long here, I guess it's ok if I back tomorrow, well... just checking if everything ok.' He thought, still pretending not to care.

+++

2 days later...

"Tokio san!" A young man around her age call her name, she spun around to see the owner of the voice. He was young, around her age, his hair were black, as well as his eyes, but it keeps shining, so full of life, he was handsome, with a tall and built well body, and his smile could melt everyone's heart.

"Ohayo, Kanzaki san. What are you doing here?" Tokio asked, they were now standing not too far from her house, she was going to buying some food.

"Ah, I just stopped by to asked you something." Kanzaki smile, showing his white teeth.

"What is it?" Tokio asked trying to sound like usually, but she know what he will asked about.

"About my... confession, you know..." Kanzaki whispering, he know Tokio already had a husband, but he never meet him, and last month when he meet her again, she was lifeless, frown always forming in her beautiful face, and it makes him want to reach out for her, loving her, hold her.

"A... I... I don't know, you know... I have a husband," She said the last part sadly, yes, she has a husband who throw her away.

"But... I couldn't stand seeing you suffering like this!" Kanzaki said, rising his voice, fortunately no one at there, so no one could hear them.

Tokio gaze lowered into the ground, he was right, she was suffering, she then remember about her thought 2 days ago, she had choose to forget about Saitou, but now... it seems like... she still trying to love him, no matter what.

She feel Kanzaki place his hand on her shoulder gently.

_But she still thinking about Saitou._

Kanzaki touch her chin and lifted her face to faced his.

_A memories about Saitou keep playing on her mind._

Kanzaki drew closer to her face, his warm breath touch her face.

_Saitou voice... keep repeating on her mind._

"Tokio..." Kanzaki whispered gently, and caressed her cheek lovingly.

_She remember how Saitou cold eyes looking at her that day._

Kanzaki touch her lips with his, softly, gently... Tokio felt weak against this man, her feeling was mixed, what should she react? 

She should be happy, she want this wasn't she? She want someone to love her right? She want someone to care for her, to kissed her, to hold her...

But she want him. She want her husband to be that someone.

She want Saitou, not Kanzaki

But why? Why this man kissed her, not Saitou, why? Because...

Saitou don't love her. 

And she give in, she let herself drowning into his kiss.

+++

A tall figure looked at them from the darkness, he inhale the cigarette and pull it away from his mouth. 

And he smirked.

'Just like what I thought.' He leaned his back against the wall, should he show up now? It doesn't matter if she know that he saw the scene right? She had moved on anyway...

But his feet don't want to move, she smirked again.

'Love? Is that what she means by love?' He inhale the cigarette again, 'Love is such a fragile thing.' 

He throw the cigarette into the ground roughly.

'That's why I never want to love or to be loved.'

He looked at them, even he tried to act cold, but somewhere in his heart start to breaking into a small piece.

But once again, he was too stubborn to realize it.

AN: Um... end chapter 3?... um... yay? *Looking around to see everyone ready with their weapon* Whoa!!! Sorry!!! Don't sue me!!! Don't harm me!!! Don't hate me!!! Don't kill me!!!! I know I'm cruel!!! I know Tokio wouldn't do that!!! I know I'm wrong!!!! *Running away to escape from the weapons that almost hit her* At least give me time to explain!!!!!! *Looking around and found everyone stopped hit her*

Ehem... Ok, I know it's too cruel for Tokio and Saitou fans out there, I also know that Tokio wouldn't do that, but she have to do that!!!! *Everyone glares* Um... I mean... she was rejected by Saitou, and ... I guess it's normal for everyone if she searching for another man that could give her love, I mean who could stand not being loved by someone they love, even their own husband / wife for more than 1 years!!!! So... don't hate me ok? It's just a twist! If I don't add it, everyone will leave me... *Saw everyone start to leave* Awww.... even when I'm make a twist they still leave me!!! *Cries* So what should I do now??? Please come back... Ah maybe I have to update the 4th chapter soon!!! *Everyone keep walk* What if I stopped this fic?????? *Everyone keep walk* What if you give me the reviews!!! And tell me if you like it or not?????? Should I stop or continue??? 

Well at least give me feedback ok? *Another grenade* Bye!!!

Note: You probably realize I use '2' too much, like 2 months, 2 weeks, 2 days... That's because my lucky number is 2!!!! *Everyone throw grenade* Don't forget to give me reviews!!! *Running away from the grenades rain*


End file.
